Assume Nothing

You know the old saying about assuming? Well, it applies to healthy eating as well. I've hit a couple stumbling blocks during this journey.

First of all, labels on the front of the package mean nothing. They're all lies. You have to read the nutritional labels. Some of my shocking discoveries are:

• "Fat free" often has extra sugar added for flavor.


• "Sugar free" can have added fat for flavor. Also, I recently learned that sugar substitutes can make you gassy.


• "Serving size" is subjective and often unrealistic. Who eats only five potato chips or drinks half a can of Coke?


• "Healthy" is a marketing ploy. Advertisers use that word hoping some poor sap (like me) will fall for it. "Heart healthy" foods may contain ingredients considered good for your heart (like oats), but the label doesn't mean that unhealthy ingredients (think high fructose corn syrup) aren't there as well.


• "Gluten free" means there is no wheat gluten. Unless you actually has celiac disease, it has no bearing on whether something is a good food choice. Often sugar and/or fat is added to make up for the missing gluten, so the gluten-free choice may have more calories than the regular option. "Gluten free" has become the latest fad among food companies. Seriously, keep an eye out for gluten-free labels next time you're shopping. You'll be surprised what you see.


• "No added sugar" is a deceptive phrase often followed by a teeny tiny asterisk. I've discovered the hard way that it does not mean sugar free. For example, peaches are zero points on the new Weight Watchers plan. I love to put peaches in my oatmeal, but they're not in season right now. I bought a package of frozen peaches, "no sugar added." Are they zero points? NO, they are three points for a serving. Apparently, whatever is done to the peaches during processing involves a lot of calories, but since sugar was not added to the peaches, they can technically use the phrase.


• Like items do not always have the same point value. For example, I've become quite fond of flavored fat-free Greek yogurt. I usually eat the Dannon Light & Fit brand. They run two WW points a container. Well, I accidently grabbed a similar looking store brand last time I was out. I ate it before I scanned it. Big mistake! That yogurt was 120 calories and a whopping FIVE points. I happened to get on the treadmill that day and noticed it took me 34 minutes to burn 120 calories. Grrr . . .

I've gotten to the point where I use the WW app to scan/look up everything. I'm trying to be mindful of my choices. Is a small glass of a good wine worth four points? Yes! Is a bad wine cooler worth six points? Nope. I throw away food all the time because "it's not worth the points." Sure, I still eat chocolate from time to time, but it's a damn good piece of chocolate now and I savor every bite!

Hopefully, one day I'll have a list of good "go to" items and making food choices won't be so time consuming. Until then, I expect to spend an hour or more in the grocery store every time I go. It's exhausting. I just keep telling myself that a year from now I'll be able to say it was worth it.

InBody Scan

The gym offers something called an InBody Scan. First, the personal trainer enters some data (height, age, gender). Then you stand on this scale-like machine and hold out some funky handle thingies. In five minutes the machine pops out a body composition analysis, a muscle fat analysis, an obesity analysis and a bunch of other information.

According to the machine, I have lots of fat. So much so, that it should be impossible for me to drown! Seriously, the numbers were pretty dismal. According to the machine, I am almost 45% fat and my BMI is a whopping 33. In fact, the only good news is that I'm still 5'5" tall. I haven't shrunk since boot camp -- 32 years ago. Also, I have a slightly higher than average skeletal muscle mass. (I want to enter cronehood with as much bone as possible.)

We're going to repeat the test in a month and see if the numbers change any. I'm not holding my breath.

One oddly positive thing: the analysis recommended that I lose 57.3 pounds to reach an ideal weight. I did the math, and now I have a definite goal weight -- 145 pounds. When I started Weight Watchers they asked for a goal weight. I didn't know what to say. I've been carrying around so much extra weight for decades that I don't even know what a good weight is for me. 145 sounds good. Of course, I can adjust that number as I get closer. (I've ben told that Weight Watchers stopped flogging failures in the 80s.)

The trainer also said losing that amount of weight should realistically take a year or more with proper diet and exercise.

A year.

OR MORE.

I'm trying not to let it get me down. It's not working. I've had a lousy week -- no exercising, no walking, lots of stress, some bad food choices. I'm afraid to step on the scale tomorrow. I'm afraid I'll be fat forever.


P.S. I stepped on the scale anyway. No change. Despite my rotten week, I was able to maintain my weight. In my book, that's a win!

Who Farted?

For the past eight weeks I have worked hard to improve my diet. Changes include:

• Whole grain bread/pasta/tortillas
• Brown rice/long grain wild rice
• Salads daily
• Fresh fruits and vegetables
• More protein from beans and eggs
• Less processed foods

Good news: I've lost 13 pounds and my fasting blood glucose levels are between 95 and 115.

Bad news: GAS!

Apparently, this is a common problem. In fact, if you Google "healthy foods and gas" you get several pages of articles. I'm not going to delve into what causes gas -- it's pretty much everything that I'm supposed to be eating. Nor am I going to go into the why. What's important to me right now is what can I do about it? I'm not going back to my old ways, but I don't want to be a walking whoopie cushion either. Here are a few of the tips that I found:

• Give the gut time to adjust. Often the body will get used to the added fiber and cruciferous vegetables.
• Increase fiber slowly. At the same time, increase water consumption. Drinking more water can help decrease the effects of both gas and constipation.
• Rinse beans. Whether soaking overnight or opening a can, rinse those beans before cooking. The liquid the beans are in will contain much of the gas producing carbohydrate.
• Chew slowly and thoroughly. Added air can cause belching, farting and bloating. On the same note, sip water not gulp it.
• Beware of sugar free options. Lower calorie sugar alcohols like sorbitol and xylitol can produce a lot of gas. Who knew?
• Drink peppermint tea. Peppermint tea can naturally enhance digestion and relax intestinal muscles. However, beware of sweeteners. I don't like it strait. Usually I'll add Splenda (to avoid using sugar) but after what I discovered above . . .
• Look into probiotics. Adding helpful bacteria to the gut can ease digestion and reduce gas. Apparently not all probiotics are the same, and some can make it worse, so experimenting is recommended.
• Use over-the counter-medications. Things like Beano and Gas-X can help. Keep them in the medicine cabinet or purse to use as needed.

So, I'm going to go through the list and see if I can stop this flatulence fest. Until then, I suggest everybody stay clear.

What I feel like right now!

Not-So-Happy Anniversary

This week is the anniversary of my very first ambulance ride. Not my best day.

On January 16, 2017, I experienced chest pains, nausea and shortness of breath at work. My boss sent me next door to the fire department. From there I was rushed to the hospital. The good news is that I wasn't having a heart attack. Actually, that's the only good news. I spent three days at the hospital being poked and prodded. My blood pressure was so incredibly high that the nurses were taking it hourly. The bruises from the blood pressure cuff took weeks to heal.

The official diagnosis was angina. Truth is, my body just said FUCK IT, I'M DONE.

I had stopped taking my meds for high blood pressure, high blood sugar and high cholesterol. I ate crap, drank too much, slept too little and avoided exercise as much as possible. I'd been carrying around and extra 60+ pounds for a decade.

I'd like to say that I had an epiphany in the hospital and changed my lifestyle.

I didn't.

Instead, I pouted. I tried half-heartedly, then got frustrated and eventually just stopped altogether.

It sounds so stupid when I say it aloud. But sometimes, I'm just not the sharpest tool in the shed. It took another eight months of feeling bad before I finally thought "Gee, maybe I should do something differently."

And now -- four months later -- I'm still trying to get my shit together. It's a lot more difficult than I'd like it to be. The weight is coming off excruciatingly slow. I still crave sugar and deep fried foods. Forcing myself to exercise is a daily battle.

But I'm moving in the right direction. Baby steps. I try not to think about where I would be today if I had started right away. (It's a bit depressing.) Instead, I'm trying to focus on where I am now. And I like to imagine where I'll be this time next year.

← Here's a current picture. No noticeable changes from the before picture. As for the numbers:

               Starting weight: 214
               Current weight: 204

Baby steps, Kelley. Baby steps.

Numbers Revisited

KISS -- Keep it

Simple, Stupid!

I know I said I wasn't going to make any New Year resolutions. I lied. I made one. I vowed to test my blood sugar regularly. I said I'd prick my finger at least once a day until I got my eating right, and then 3-4 times weekly after that. Guess what? So far, so good.

Keeping track is a pain. There are all kinds of blood glucose logs out there. I think most of them are too busy, too complicated or too expensive. I know me. I need simple. I bought a 2018 day planner at the Dollar Store. It's small enough to store in the bathroom drawer with my glucometer. I write the number, the time and anything significant that I think may have affected the number (i.e. "missed PM meds" or "walked 3 miles.")

I try to test my blood every morning when I get up. On the days I forget, I make sure to test two hours after dinner. I've made some interesting discoveries:

• I can tell when I forgot to take my evening meds.
• My morning numbers are lower when I eat a big lunch/light dinner.
• My morning numbers are lower when I eat a low carb dinner.
• My numbers are lower after I get in a good workout.

My morning numbers average around 115 mg/dl. The American Diabetes Association says that target range for fasting blood sugar levels should be between 80–130 mg/dl so I'm doing pretty good. I feel confident that if I can get my weight down and get a better handle on food choices, I could get this number closer to 80 mg/dl.

The ADA also says that the target range 1–2 hours after meals is less than 180 mg/dl. So far my evening numbers (there aren't many) have been on target. Yay me! Maybe I'll figure this out after all. To quote one of my doctors:

Lord, I'm trying. Really I am.

Weight Watchers and PMS

It's a tough week for me. I've got a bad case of PMS. Among the discomfort and bloating, I'm also cranky and hungry. Normally this is the week that I would eat something deep-fried and/or covered in cheese or a cream sauce. It would be washed down with white zinfandel and followed by brownies. LOTS of brownies. And chips. Crispy, salty chips.

Unfortunately, that's not Weight Watchers friendly. Probably not diabetic friendly either. Dammit. What's a girl to do?

This is what I came up with instead:

• 7 large, garlic stuffed olives (1 point)
• 1 wedge light, spreadable Swiss cheese (1 point)
• 2 tablespoons hummus (2 points)
• 10 sea salt, corn/rice crackers (1 point)
• Carrot sticks (0 points)
• Red grapes (0 points)
• Diet green tea (0 points)

It hit the spot. Creamy, crunchy, crispy, salty and sweet for only 5 points. Definitely worth keeping these on hand for next time!

New Year, New Thoughts

So the new year is upon us. People worldwide are writing New Year's resolutions. I suck at resolutions, so I'm not making any this year. My resolution for the last 20 years or so has been to lose weight and you see where that's gotten me!

Truth is, sometimes I do lose weight. More often I don't. And when I do lose a few pounds they seem to come back, bringing friends with them. It's frustrating.

I've learned that weight loss can be fickle. Sometimes the pounds seem to just fall off. Other times the scale doesn't budge for weeks. It can be disheartening.

I guess Weight Watchers realizes this. In my WW membership book there is a place to write down "Beyond the Scale" goals. I like that idea -- goals, not resolutions.

So here are things I'd like to accomplish in 2018 that have nothing to do with the number on the scale, but everything to do with being stronger and healthier:

• Walk a 5K -- all the way to the finish line!
• Bring my A1C under 7. 
• Climb a rock wall.
• Go indoor skydiving.
• And most of all, I want to zipline across the crocodiles at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm.

I'm stoked! I've been Googling "rock walls near me." (There are several!) And the local news reports that iFLY is looking to build an indoor skydiving center 15 minutes from my house.

OOOOOOH! I think 2018 is going to be a fun year. I'm definitely buying the overpriced souvenir pictures!