Rock Bottom

This rock bottom is Bandinelli's "Hercules and Cacus"

statue in Florence, Italy

Well shit.

Apparently if you treat your body like crap for decades it rebels.

I'm 49, probably 70-80 pounds overweight and have the Fat Lady Trifecta:

• High Blood Pressure
• High Cholesterol
• and Type II Diabetes.

Isn't that special? To make things worse, I battle with depression, self-medicate with carbs and I really don't like to sweat.

I was diagnosed with diabetes about 18 months ago. I've done a horrible job remembering to take my medication and watching what I eat. I need to change. I can make great plans but my follow through stinks.

BTW, I have issues -- besides the ones mentioned above. I'm disorganized. I lose things. A lot. I'm also a perfectionist. I get frustrated when I can't do things right and quit. Sometimes I can't figure how to start something and quit before I begin.

I think I've finally hit rock bottom. So now what?

I've heard food journaling help. I was on Weight Watchers years ago and lost 40 pounds. (I found it again!) But writing down everything I put in my mouth is tough. I get busy. I forget. I get pissed at myself.

Still, I like to write things down. It makes it real for me. It's nice to look back and see progress. Or maybe see where things went wrong.

That's probably why I blog. Unlike a physical journal, I can't lose it. I can go back and edit when needed. I can organize thoughts (pages) into like groups. I can add pictures. I don't need to try to decipher my horrible handwriting later.

So . . . for now . . . I'm going to write down my journey. I wonder what this blog will show a year from now.

Will I finally lose weight and control my blood levels?
Will I be dead?

Let's hope for the former! Now it's time to stop whining and start making goals. S.M.A.R.T. goals. I have a problem with doing too much, too fast and burning myself out. So here are my baby-step goals for this week:

1. Find my Fitbit. Charge it. Wear it.

2. Make an appointment to have my medications refilled.

3. Drink at least four 20 oz bottles of water each day this week.

Wish me luck!