Gratitude

To be completely honest, I tend to be a negative person.

• I see the glass as half empty.
• I look for angles and ulterior motives in other people's actions.
• I plan for worst case scenarios.
• I wear my skeptic hat with pride.

Sometimes this is good. For example:

• I don't run out of gas thinking I "can make it a few more miles." Nope. Gas never gets below a quarter tank on my watch.
• I seldom get caught in a scam. I assume all salesmen are lying. I believe that if something appears too good to be true then it's either not good or not true. 
• I keep first aid kits in my house and my car, just in case. (And yes, I'm CPR certified).
• You know when the news says you should have X, Y and Z to prepare for a hurricane? Got it!
• I've never been bitten by a snake, attacked by a bear or struck by lightening. Why? I follow safety protocol.
• And I will totally kick ass in a zombie apocalypse. (Doesn't everybody have a zombie plan?)

But there are drawbacks to having this type of personality:

• I don't like change and often view new things with distrust.
• I hold grudges.
• I don't like compliments. (I have a hard time believing a compliment is sincere.)
• I'm uncomfortable accepting charity. (It leaves me feeling indebted. I hate that.)
• I don't like asking for help. (It makes me feel incompetent.)
• I find cheerful people annoying -- especially cheerful morning people.
• Team-building exercises are excruciating. I hate role-play and I prefer to work alone.
• Parties are exhausting. I can spend an intimate evening with 2 or 3 close friends. I love that. Or I can be in a large crowd of strangers I'll never see again (like a concert). That's actually exhilarating. But to be friendly and interact with a dozen different people for hours is just draining.  

It's difficult to admit this stuff. Fortunately, this is a private blog and I doubt anybody will every read it. Yea!

That being said, I'm trying to change. I'm sure I'll always be pragmatic, but I don't have to be unhappy. Right?

Last year I wanted to add deliberate acts of gratitude to my life. I saw this on Facebook and decided to give it a try:

This activity forced me to look for good things. I didn't add notes consistently (that's a whole other personal flaw I'm working on!) but I did write 20 or so. This evening I opened the jar and read the things I'd written over the past 12 months.

• Some were huge: No one was hurt in my son's car accident. Insurance covered everything.
• Some were small: The robins have returned. Spring is here.
• Some were a change of perspective: The frustrating cut in Hubby's hours at work dropped us into a lower tax bracket. We got a refund for the first time in five years.

I am in tears and my heart feels 10 times bigger. This is definitely something I'm doing again. In fact, the first note in the 2018 jar reads:

Overwhelmed with gratitude by last year's January jar. Life is good!

Nerd Fitness

I have pink dumbbells too!

Merry Christmas! Today I gave myself a healthy gift.

I've thought for a while that I should add some strength training to my exercise routine. But when I Google "beginner strength training routines" I get a lot more than I'm looking for. I need beginner beginner.

A lot of the stuff I found online is beyond me. I was trying to piece something together when I came upon Nerd Fitness. I found a beginner routine that looks doable. I started today. I did two rounds of:

• 10 Bodyweight Squats
• 10 Wall Push-ups
• 10 Lunges
• 10 Dumbbell Rows per arm (2 lb weights)
• 10-second Plank
• 15 Jumping Jacks

OMG, I had jelly legs for a good 30 minutes! My goal is to increase the reps/weight/planking time and add a third set. But I'm trying to take it slow for now.

I also needed some stretching exercises after my walks. I've had some rather uncomfortable cramping in my calves. Again, I wanted something simple. A lot of things I found want you to tie yourself up like a pretzel. Trust me, this body is not pretzel ready! However, I did find four post-workout stretches I'll try it for now. As time goes on, I plan to do more. However, if I do too much at once I'm just going to drive myself nuts.

Baby steps, Kelley. Baby steps.

Riced Cauliflower

FYI: This is gross. Do not eat it.

WW -- Week 1

Hidden calories

Today was weigh-in day. After my first week of Weight Watchers I lost four pounds. Yay!

It hasn't been easy. Apparently things I thought were healthy, aren't very Weight Watchers friendly. For example, did you know gummy vitamins have hidden calories? Seriously! I get only 23 points a day to eat as I choose, I'm not going to waste two of them on stupid gummy vitamins.

I hope I can keep this up. This next week has Christmas and a potluck party. Lord give me strength, I'm going to need it.

Say Cheese

NO. NO. NO.

This has no flavor and an unpleasant texture. Save your money and your points.

Eat this instead:

These are also one point each. I like to eat a piece or two for breakfast with a nice red d'anjou pear. (The cheese is good with apples too, but try pairing with the pear.)

You're welcome.

Weight Watchers, Again

I have walked faithfully for weeks. I lace up my sneakers at least four times a week.

• Jedi and I walk Ed Austin Park once a week. The walking trail is 1.75 miles.
• We've been to the Arboretum, hiking at least two mile each time.
• We've done a couple treks on the beach -- in soft sand!
• Twice a week I hit the treadmill at work for 30 minutes.
• And when things have gone haywire, I've put in Leslie Sansone walking DVDs and marched around my living room like an idiot.

And you know what? I've put on four pounds. FOUR POUNDS!! WTF?

So I bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers. Again. Hopefully, things will be different this time. I'm tired. I just want to be healthy.